Thanks to the book ‘Better than Before’ I have a better insight on habits. Habits and how to maintain them. Habits and why it is easier for some people to adopt a new habit than for other people. Basically, the reason why habits don’t stick.
How to make it easier to stick to a habit and how to prevent stumbling out of your habit and declaring it a fail.
I never opened myself to the possibility that there was so much to learn about habits and that even I could do it.
Do Something for 30-60 Days
The thing I learned about habits long ago is this: when you do something for 30-60 days it will become a habit. The thing you have chosen to do will be more or less automatic and therefore will not take as much energy from you to do as when you didn’t have the habit.
For example: when you set yourself up for the habit of doing meditation or running first thing in the morning. The first weeks it will still be a matter of discipline to get yourself out of bed and into your trainers or on your meditation pillow. But after 60 days? You won’t think of it one second, it will be an automatic routine.
[pullquote]Once the habit is in place, we can effortlessly do the things we want to do.
― Gretchen Rubin[/pullquote]
I have learned that habit trick years ago, from various books. But not one habit really stuck. I was still eating sugar, more or less eating healthy (whenever I felt like it), running only now and then, mostly doing yoga, etc etc. All the habits kind of stuck, but not completely.
What was wrong with me?
I want it so bad!
Four Categories of People
The book ‘Better than Before’ showed me there are 4 categories of people that will adopt new habits for different reasons. Of course, I could recognize myself immediately in one of those categories, the Rebel. They only do stuff when they really want it or when the habit is more or less part of their identity. So if I set a habit for myself suddenly it is no longer something I wanted to do, but something I had to do. And so on some days, I could just convince myself that I didn’t want to do it anymore. And the fresh new habit would die a silent death ;-).
Luckily I learn and grow wiser and now I can convince myself that it is something that I want to do, not have to do. And it really helps to know your own tendency so you can be prepared for it ;-).
For me it was an enlightening thought to look at some of the habits that I mastered before that are now completely automatic and effortless:
– I quit smoking I don’t know how many years ago. I really have no intention to ever start again and I don’t crave cigarettes ever. Wow. If I can do that with cigarettes…
– I brush my teeth every evening before going to bed and before going out in the morning. No need to think about this at all.
– I write my gratitudes every morning after I bring the kids to school.
– I get up early before the kids get up and do some yoga or meditation. I don’t have to make a decision on what to do, it’s already decided when I get up.
I also realized that the habits that were the most successful (quitting smoking) are the ones where I drew the line in the sand. No more! Not some days when we are celebrating, not some days on holiday, not ever do I smoke. I am free of smoking. The book made me realize that I am a person that doesn’t work well with doing things in moderation. Hah! I should have known that.
Whenever I see a bar of chocolate or a bag of cookies, I have to finish it. It just happens. It is so unhealthy and I know it. I have tried to moderate myself for years now, eating healthy during the day and then finishing a bar of chocolate in the evening when my will power was more or less depleted.
Abstain Yourself from Bad Habits
And being an ‘abstainer’ as the book calls the people who can’t really moderate themselves makes so much sense. Look at how easy it was to quit smoking. No more energy wasted every day in deciding, yes or no. One smoke or not? One cookie or not? If I eat one cookie now, I will not eat one in the evening. But I really deserve one. I worked so hard. I am sad. I want to celebrate. All those decision moments, all those excuses. They are no longer needed when you abstain completely from something. It feels freeing.
An abstainer or a moderator adopt new habits in a completely different way.
Of course, the first weeks are crucial to create that new habit of yours.
The book made me realize that you can help yourself by listing the moments that you usually will eat sugar (in my case) and put some safeguards in place.
Now I brush my teeth when the kids go to bed, so I won’t fall in the too familiar trap to eat the chocolate and cookies in front of the television. This has a very positive side effect that it’s also easier to get up and go to bed in time since I have already done part of that go-to-bed work.
I also have a big container of raw nuts and dried fruit (for me only unsweetened cranberries, not a big fan of prunes yet) at my desk to prevent my snack attacks before lunch or dinner. Since it is so healthy you usually only need a few to remove the sugar craving.
[pullquote]In the chaos of everyday life, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters, and I can use my habits to make sure that my life reflects my values.
― Gretchen Rubin[/pullquote]
Treat Yourself to Convenience
And I treat myself to convenience (another tip from the book). I eat out healthy at the Vegan stall nearby or I get a salad for lunch. In time I will get the time and discipline to make my healthy lunches myself, but for now, this helps me to make the sugarless lifestyle a habit.
And I treat myself to convenience (another tip from the book). I eat out healthy at the Vegan stall nearby or I get a salad for lunch. In time I will get the time and discipline to make my healthy lunches myself, but for now, this helps me to make the sugarless lifestyle a habit.
So I am finally on my way to freedom from sugar. Counting day 8 today ;-) and already feeling the energy after the first mild detox headache in the first days.
What do you want to change in your life? How can you be better than before?
Pick up the book ‘Better Than Before’ at Amazon if you want to learn even more fascinating facts about habits.